Porcine Fable

From "The Children's Gate"
By Lewas Iscarrollot

"It was quite an ordinary day when little Mary Rose went down to the riverside to gather pearls and flowers, so she thought nothing of the small pig which slipped from tree to tree. 'Beware the creatures of the woods, my child!' her mother had called as she skipped through the garden. But, alas, lost in the childish kingdom of daisies and lily-pads, Mary heeded not her mother's warning.

The pig was swift and shadowy, most unlike others of its ilk. Mary gathered her dainty bouquet and danced through the forest, laughing as she glided, carefree, through the soft grass.

Through the ferns and bushes, more pigs appeared, silently watching the girl. Mary began to notice this most unusual congregation, but still laughed at her mother's words, which began to whisper at her ear.

The pigs were now joined by great, fat hogs, covered in mud. They began to snort excitedly as the overwhelming number of pigs now encircled the forest.

And, then, from the largest tree in the woods, the largest hog of all did appear. Its snout was of a frightful size, more akin to the trunk of an elephant. The strange proboscis curled down the branches and slithered through the grass. . . .

And little Mary Rose was never heard from again."

Grievances

Oblivious to the decadent surroundings of the hotel, Moptop's eyes narrowed in anger.

"So, Endenash. We meet again."

He paused, collecting himself and suppressing the urge to act out in violence.

"You never thought I'd put it all together? That you sent that horrid blonde succubus to do your bidding? That you were the puppet-master in this twisted game!?"

Moptop was satisfied with the monologue thus far.

"Well, it's true!" he continued, now screaming. And, without a pause to allow his opponent to interject, he continued. "Don't even try to deny it! She's just lucky I was onstage at the time, or that bitch would have taken a bottle right in the mouth! Courtesy of ME!"

Satisfied with this strongly-worded email, Moptop pressed "send."