Fearful Symmetry

The announcement came on the radio just as Moptop and Ellynnorr were pulling out of the driveway: "Warning . . . a giant tiger is loose in the city! Do not leave your homes for any reason!"

"Eh, let's go," said Moptop. "There is food to be eaten and beer to be drunk!"

As they drove out of the neighborhood, another car, driven by Notop, passed by the opposite direction. The passengers included Mrs. Notop, Terred, and Mr. God. The former tried to get Moptop's attention, but Moptop slinked down farther into his seat in an ineffective attempt to conceal himself. Notop's car whipped around and followed them.

Notop changed lanes and sped up so the cars were side-by-side, and Moptop saw Mr. God's window roll down, so he responded in kind.

"What do you want!?" shouted Moptop over the rushing wind.

"Mr. and Mrs. Notop want you to come to dinner!"

"I'm clearly going somewhere else! Maybe next time!"

Mr. God's window rolled up, and Mrs. Notop cast an indignant glare at Moptop.

The cars came to rest at a stoplight, and Moptop saw the giant tiger in the intersection. It was giant, indeed--easily longer than their car--and appeared very angry. Moptop looked around at everyone's reaction. A woman on a bicycle, suddenly aware of her mortal danger, screamed and pedaled away slowly in the opposite direction.

The tiger, meanwhile, took a swipe at a man walking a chihuahua and barely missed the dog. Moptop was secretly disappointed.

Holiday Squabble

"Listen to us fighting," sighed Cajun Mother. "One of us should take a 'Stillige Nacht' break."

Face Full of Sorrow

After sitting down to read the book loaned to him by Herschel, Moptop was almost immediately interrupted and informed it was time for rehearsal.

Moptop was handed a guitar, and he improvised since he hadn't heard the song before. El Canucko and the Creepster looked at him disapprovingly. "Can you play it . . . I don't know . . . a little more subtly?" Moptop tried to oblige, but his efforts were apparently unsatisfactory. The group packed up their instruments and went their separate ways.

At this, Moptop leaped head-first into the slide in the wall and sped down the tube at breakneck speed, slowing down only in some corners to collect some objects that he spotted in small niches.

When he emerged, he found himself in a cabin, where people were milling about and talking. One person was huddled under a blanket, though it would have been nearly impossible to sleep through so much activity.

"Who is that?" Moptop asked someone.

"Oh, that's such-and-such's wife," the person responded. Moptop immediately forgot the name.

Spotting Baldo out of the corner of his eye, Moptop approached and asked what the rest of the group thought.

"Nobody thinks it's going to go well," said Baldo, grimly.

"It will be fine," replied Moptop. "And look what I found!"

Moptop pulled out several large, golden dollar coins from a bag. Upon closer inspection, the most ornate one was inscribed in an unorthodox fashion:

"We the People Declare You a Jerk."

CSI

Moptop entered the garage, cautiously approaching the semi truck until he could climb into the cab for a better view. As he pulled himself up, he recoiled in horror as he saw a corpse in the passenger's seat.

Montano used this knowledge to travel back in time several hours, and he, too, crept into the garage. Once he was close enough, he flung open the door, finding Judas asleep next to the body.

"It was you!" exclaimed Montano.

"You can't stop me," yawned the still-sleepy Judas.

Montano kicked him.

Hungry

The moon came down from the sky to observe Moptop delicately arranging his food. Careful not to mix anything together to preserve each flavor, he lightly placed the chips, hot dogs, pickles, and other items on the plate. When it was finished, he smiled and made his way to the table.

A mustachioed man entered, and Moptop dropped the plate of food. Moptop punched the man in the face.

"I demand two hot dogs!" he yelled to no one in particular.